Friday Songs

A long time ago in a galaxy very similar to this one, I had a fun time on this blog here and I would post songs on Friday that seemed to somehow encapsulate the entire previous week or for whatever reason resonated with the mood I was in at the moment I was writing the post. 

This was a particularly challenging week on a personal level, but a fine one otherwise. There was a lot of emotion and quite a bit of pain but each new day is another door to open and another new and fun way to live. Or so the positive reinforcement people tell me. (Kidding, I don't listen to them and their "just eat more avocados and you will be happier" gospel.) 

Anyway, through the chaos of the week, this song helped me remember my center somehow. I've grown to love a lot of this band's music so I hope you enjoy this one. 

The Airborne Toxic Event - The Common Touch

"I've been 58 since I was 23..."

See you next time. Leave a song in the comments if the mood strikes you. 

Summer

I used to like summer. I used to like Texas. I used to like a lot of things really. As we get older and our preferences continue to shift it can be fun to stop every now and then to take stock of who we are now, kind of like an introspective inventory. It can be fun, but it can also disrupt everything and everyone around us. Sometimes people leave their lives or their partners behind. Sometimes it's a career change or getting a new kind of pet. It can be really positive too, like deciding to get healthier, give up a vice or leave an abusive relationship. 

Me? I'm mostly just tired of the heat. Texas has become a hotbed of crazy over the last few decades and the triple-digit temps don't help anyone keep their cool. I'm probably well into the second half of my life and I just don't want to be this hot anymore. It's stupid. Most of my summer is spent indoors waiting for summer to be over. It's no way to live. There's always a good trip to the lake if you're early enough or a nice evening stroll if you're up that late. 

When I was a kid growing up just south of Houston, we didn't have air conditioning (until I was around 14 I think). At the time, I didn't really know any different so it wasn't a big deal. But now, I'm so hooked on air conditioning I start to tense up at just the thought of being without it for a day when the rolling brownouts from the incompetent Texas energy grid (ERCOT) start coming through town. Which then makes me feel weak and guilty because so many people out there survive without it. 

And then there's global warming and the people that still "don't believe in it". The funny thing about facts is, they don't really care if you believe in them or not. It's hot, and getting hotter. And I'm getting older and crankier, apparently. 

Grand Lake

We spent a weekend at Grand Lake Oklahoma. It's a really beautiful place and it was great to have a couple of days to be on the water and be away from the constant noise of the DFW area. We actually got to see some stars last night. That's not something we can do at home. 

The first evening there, I got some good photos of the sunset from the boat dock. It was really pretty. 

Friday we spent the day on the lake and it was awesome. A much needed break with waves, water and sun for all plus a picnic on the boat of sandwiches and snacks. It was wonderful. 

I was having trouble sleeping Friday night so I got up and Snickers, our 1 year old dog, wanted out. This was about 2 am. Snickers went potty and then started sniffing the ground very intently and was heading down the hill towards the lake. Everyone was asleep so I was whisper yelling at him to come back but he wouldn't even look up he was so obsessed with whatever his nose has picked up. So I went down the hill's wet grass (it had rained earlier) in my bare feet, grabbed him by the collar and dragged him back up the hill until he realized that he really did need to get back in the house. We got back to bed without waking anyone else (as far as I know) and I continued to browse random news articles on my phone and wonder if I'd get back to sleep or not. About 30 minutes later there was a very wild sound coming from just outside. Something like a cross between a small dog yipping and a young child screaming. It was a fox barking. Both dogs stirred and started barking back. Suddenly I knew what Snickers had been so obsessed with. It was wild. 

Saturday morning, after a wonderful and huge breakfast, we went kayaking to a nearby cove. The water was great if not a little choppy from a small, constant parade of boats heading to some kind of party at one of the marinas nearby. It was quite peaceful and calm once we got to the cove. The air was still though which let the heat of the sun win over the cool lake breeze, so we didn't linger. But it was very enjoyable. 

We had another fun boat ride Saturday afternoon, dodging the other boats heading to the festival. Some of the usually more popular coves were quiet which was nice. We grabbed some drinks at a resort bar then headed back. We had a great dinner of steaks from the local butcher shop, roasted vegetables, salad and rolls. We stayed up late talking, drinking and looking at the stars. 

It was a great weekend vacation. Very relaxing and enjoyable in a beautiful place. 

Middle Ages

I will turn 50 in about 6 months. I'm not sure what to think of it because, when I was a kid 50 was old. I don't feel old at all. Sure, my bones and joints feel a little stiffer, my nights are shorter, and my doctor appointments are becoming more frequent but inside I still feel like the same young dreamer I was 25 years ago. It's a very bizarre phenomenon, this thing we call aging. When I was very young, I noticed each year seemed to pass quicker than the one before it. A work friend and I began saying "Happy Thursday" to each other years ago and now it seems like we say it every day. Time is a very weird thing. Mathematically, I like to think each unit of time we experience is diminished as we progress through it. For instance, if you are 5 years old, the last year was 1/5 of your life, but the next year will only be 1/6 of your life, and so on. So I'm about to be living 1/50 of my life (so far). But it is still another year. And in some ways, each day is longer than they were since I sleep less now. And suddenly I am struck by the irony that I am passing precious time by thinking about time passing. Haha. 

Whatever we are, whatever this life is, I like to try to enjoy it and try to help those around me do the same. Growing up is fun sometimes, I'm hoping that growing old will be fun too. My wife and I laugh about our bodies falling apart and our brains not working like they used to. I crack jokes about not being able to eat cheese much anymore, even though I miss it. She likes to say that bodies are dumb, we should get new ones if we're going to be living this long. It's the laughter that is enjoyable. So here I am, laughing at you, Middle Age. I think we are going to get along just fine. As long as my body lets me keep drinking tons of coffee (don't take away my coffee like you did my cheese, you bastard!). 

Speaking of coffee, it's almost 6 am. Time to go make some... 

Have a good day. 

I used to be here...

There were a few years when I was really active on this blog. I had a good time posting songs, rants, ideas and musings. There were a number of things that lead me to scale back, then completely reset it, then ultimately, essentially abandon it. The community that was vibrant in the blogs seemed to die slowly with the rise of social media and the widespread attempts to monetize each and every blog post. 

I became more active on the social media apps that seemed to become the new foundation of so many social groups. 

Like so many others, I've now grown tired, very tired of the filtering of content, the influencers and never ending barrage of ridiculous ads thrown at me every time I want to see pictures from a friend's vacation or check my art group's latest posts. We don't get paid by the social media companies, yet so much of our time is consumed by them that we effectively work for them. Free data for them, commissions from advertisers for them, ... Frustration and alienation for us. For me anyway. 

I can't say I'm done altogether yet. The drug of social bonds is too great. But I'm going to try this again. I think. We'll see.  

There's a lot that comes with having a spot to share uninterrupted thoughts. If you stumble across this and have one of your own, feel free to share a link. 

I still have a pulse, apparently

 It has been an unusually long lull, hasn't it? 

As a matter of fact, I'm not sure how many years it has been at this point. So much has happened. 

My dad died in 2014.

My daughter graduated high school and moved out t go to college in 2017. 

My marriage ended in 2018 (divorce). It was actually a great thing, looking back. One friend said I was like the frog in the pot, not knowing the water had started boiling. 

My son turned 18 in 2020 during the middle of a raging pandemic.

My artwork has still been there with me through it all, even though I haven't done much. The last few years have been the most challenging with only glimmers of fun popping up here and there. 

Current state - 

I live with my son and our 2 cats. 

I am in love, she is amazing. 

My career is still going well. 

My art supplies are still there, looking at me, waiting... 

I have fun here and there. 

I may start writing here again just to see if anyone reads it. I had fun with this for years until my brother's (now) ex-wife started trolling. Thankfully, he also has someone wonderful in his life now too. 

This just in

Apparently I have a blog. Guess I forgot about it.  I suppose that's why it's called "The Chronic Lulls"...

Maybe the lulls will finally subside
Maybe all the dreams have died
Maybe there is more to come
Maybe nothing, but maybe some

The waves are rhythmic
The waves are free
The waves will carry
The wind on the sea